Marriage Wisdom
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So, why's the groom wearing black?"

Things You May Find Offensive At A Wedding.....
*Show up with a baby and claim he belongs to the newlyweds.

* Offer to show people pictures of the bride having sex with a dog.
* Tell people that you knew the bride before the sex change operation.

* Propose a toast to the brides nose job.

* Steal the cards from the wedding gifts so no one can tell who they came from.

* Walk up to various guests and demand to see their invitations.

* After the bride throws her garter, start people chanting, "Throw your bra, throw your bra..."

* Return a bra which the bride left in your car.

Wisdom in Marriage ?
Whether a man winds up with the nest egg or a goose egg depends
a lot on the kind of chick he marries.

Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin' his salt that he forgets his sugar.

Too many couples marry for better or for worse, but not for good.

When a man marries a woman, they become one, but the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

If a man has enough "horse sense" to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she will never be an old nag.

On anniversaries the wise husband always forgets the past...but never the present.

A foolish husband remarks to his wife: "Honey, you stick to the washin', ironin', cookin', and scrubbin'. No wife of mine is gonna work.

The bonds of matrimony are a good investment only when the interest is kept up.

Many girls like to marry a military man--he can cook, sew, make bed, and is in good health...and he's already used to taking orders.

Grandpappy and his wife were discussin' their 50th wedding anniversary when she said, "Shall I kill a turkey tonight?" "Naw, said Grandpappy, "Why blame a bird for something' that happened 50 years ago?"