Some of your old favorites have re-released their great hits with new lyrics to accommodate their aging audience.

Herman's Hermits-- "Mrs. Brown You've Got a Lovely Walker"

The Rolling Stones-- "You Can't Always Pee When You Want"

Paul Simon-- "Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver"

Carly Simon-- "You're So Varicose Vein"

The Bee Gees-- "How Can You Mend a Broken Hip"

Roberta Flack-- "The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face"

Johnny Nash-- "I Can't See Clearly Now"

The Temptations-- "Papa's Got a Kidney Stone"

Nancy Sinatra-- "These Boots Give Me Arthritis"

ABBA-- "Denture Queen"

Leo Sayer-- "You Make Me Feel Like Napping"

Commodores-- "Once, Twice, Three Trips to the Bathroom"

Procol Harem-- "A Whiter Shade of Hair"

The Beatles-- "I Get By with a Little Help From Depends"

Credence Clearwater Revival-- "Bad Prune a-Rising"

Marvin Gaye-- "I Heard It Through the Grape Nuts"

The Who-- "Talkin' 'Bout My Medication"

Senior Moments
A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm for the sport.

"These hills are getting steeper as the years go by," one complained.

"These fairways seem to be getting longer too," said one of the others.

"The sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them too," said the third senior.

After hearing enough from his Senior buddies, the oldest, and the wisest of the four of them at 87 years old, piped up and said..."Quit your dang complaining and just be thankful we're still on the RIGHT SIDE of the grass!"

Two good things from having Alzheimer's disease:

1. You can hide your own Easter eggs.

2. You meet someone new every day.

The aged patient doddered into the doctor's office with a serious complaint.

"Doc, you've got to do something to lower my sex drive."

"Come on now, Mr. Peters," the doctor said, "your sex drives all in your head."

"That's what I mean, you've got to lower it a little."

What's the best thing about turning 65?

No more calls from insurance salesmen.

Joe still enjoyed chasing girls when he got to be 80.

When his wife was asked if she minded, she answered, "Why should I be upset? Dogs chase cars, but they can't drive."