The Psychiatrist's 23d Psalm

The Lord is my external-internal integrative mechanism, I shall not be deprived of gratification for my viscerogenic hungers or my need-dispositions.

He motivates me to orient myself toward a non-social object with affective significance.

He positions me in a non-decisional situation.

He maximizes my adjustment.

Although I entertain masochistic and self-destructive id impulses, I will maintain contact with reality, for my superego is dominant.

His analysis and tranquilizers, they comfort me.

He assists in the resolution of my internal conflicts despite my Oedipal problem and psychopathic compulsions.

He promotes my group identification.

My personality is totally integrated.

Surely my prestige and status shall be enhanced as a direct function of time,

And I shall remain sociologically, psychologically and economically secure forever.

The Diagnosis

A group of office co-workers decided one day to share a ride to work.

What they did not realize was that they also shared the same fear --claustrophobia.

As they were driving through a mountain tunnel, all began to scream wildly! The car went out of control, but finally, they were able to slow down and pull over to the side of the road.

A psychologist who was driving behind the car saw everything and stopped to see if he could help.

He immediately ascertained what the problem was -- they were suffering from carpool tunnel syndrome.