Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.

Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.

If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.

Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon

If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.

Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.

If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.

My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.

Thank You For Pot Smoking.

To All You Virgins... Thanks For Nothing.

If At First You Don't Succeed...blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.

Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings."

If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.

Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.

It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.

If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.

You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me

The Earth Is Full - Go Home

I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha

This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me

So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away

The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name

Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway

Illiterate Write For Help

Honk If Anything Falls Off

Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes

He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit

I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person

You! Out Of The Gene Pool!

I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To

Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Hand basket

It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now

I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere

If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off...[Seen On The Back Of A Biker's Vest]

If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...

Fight Crime: Shoot Back! If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over..[Seen Upside Down, On A Jeep]

Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.

Guys: No Shirt, No Service Gals: No Shirt, No Charge [Reported To Be Seen On A Restaurant]

If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut

Necrophilia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.

Ax Me About Ebonics

Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel

Boldly Going Nowhere

Cat: The Other White Meat

Caution - Driver Legally Blonde!

Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That

Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends

Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window

How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost

If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.

Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch

Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!

Warning! Driver Only Carries $20.00 In Ammunition

What Has Four Legs And An Arm A Happy Pit Bull

Peta - People Eating Tasty Animals

Eat Moose 10,000 Wolfs can't be wrong

Support Abortion, Don't labor under a misconception.