Military Common Sense Rules

• Incoming fire has the right of way.
• Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire.
• The easy way is always mined.
• Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
• Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
• The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions: When you're ready for them. When you're not ready for them.
• Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.
• If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you.
• Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you.
• The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
• If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.
• When in doubt empty the magazine.
• Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you.
• Anything you do can get you shot. Including doing nothing.
• Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.
• Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
• A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
• Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
• The quartermaster has only two sizes: too large and too small.
• Five second fuses only last three seconds.
• It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.

Useful Military Warnings

"Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." - U.S. Army

"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." - U.S.A F.Ammo Troop

Or, Who cares if a laser guided 2000 lb. bomb is accurate to within 9 feet?

"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal

"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." - Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." - U.S. Air Force Manual

"Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance

Five-second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantry Journal

"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." - Col. David Hackworth

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons. (Gen. MacArthur.)

Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo. (Infantry Journal.)

"If your attack is going too well, you're probably walking into an ambush." - Infantry Journal

"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." - Joe Gay

"Any ship can be a minesweeper ... once." - Anon

"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." – Unknown Army Recruit

"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." - Your Buddies

Mines are equal opportunity weapons.(Saddam Hussein.)

If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn't plan your mission properly.(David Hackworth.)

(And lastly)

"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him." -- U.S.A. Ammo Troop