THINGY (thing-ee) n.
female: Any part under a car's hood.
male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
male: Playing football without a helmet.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.

BUTT (but) n.
female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger."
male: what you slap when someone's scored a touchdown, homerun, or goal. Also good for mooning.

COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
male: Anything that can be done while drinking.

FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.

REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every three minutes.

Things You'll Never Hear A Man Say:

1) Here honey, you use the remote.
2) Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt? That's one movie I gotta see!
3) While I'm up, can I get you anything?
4) Aww, forget Monday Night football, let's watch Ally McBeal.
5) Hey, let me hold your purse while you try that on.
6) We never talk anymore.

Things You'll Never Hear A Woman Say:

1) What do you mean today's our anniversary?
2) Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV.
3) Ohh, this diamond is way too big! Don't you have something smaller?
4) Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there.
5) I don't care if it's on sale, $300 is way too much for a designer dress.